♫ :'( ♪

Why do I have to suffer so damn much? JUST WHY?! God, I always put You first in my life. You never let me down. I know that this is part of Your plan and I have to step out of my comfort zone. I did. Everything got worse. God, where are You? I need You now. I know You've told me to obey and always listen to my parents. I did. I never fight back. BUT, my dad always yell at me and it hurts. A LOT. My heart, if You look at it, its broken. I hate my dad so much. You know how I feel. I'm really sorry but I can never forgive him. I have already forgiven him MANY MANY times. I've tried tolerating with his bad attitudes but I just can't stand it anymore. It's like he never learn.

Mom,
I love you. Thank you for taking care of me when daddy dumped you. He was immature. Forgive him please. I know you already did cause you're a good mom. I know you are. You raised me up single handedly and I'm very proud of you. You thought me what's right and what's wrong. I've heard stories of single parent child. Their mom or dad neglected them and they mixed the wrong group of people. Thank God I wasn't one of them. All thanks to you, mom. Always watching me when I was kid. I'll never forget everything that you have did for me. I might have yelled at you sometimes, I'm still immature and unstable. Thank you for understanding me and always giving me advices. Though I have to admit, its kinda annoying sometimes but its good for me. So, yeah. I LOVE YOU, MOM! Always and forever.

Your beloved son,
Bryan :)

Dear friends,
Guys, you know who you are. Always there for me. Supporting me. Cheering me up. Making  fun of me. Insulting me. I'm okay with it. After all, that's what friends are for, right? I love you guys. Well, you guys are not my mom. So, no need for that long message shit thing kay :)

Here's a poem dedicated to you guys,

When I'm in pain,
You'll be there with me through the rain,
Making me laugh and calling me gay,
That's okay because that's the way.

P/S : I can't come up with anymore ideas. Mind is stuck now. Sorry.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! EACH & EVERYONE <3

♫ I HAVE A NEW BABY BROTHER ♪

The time is 10:46pm. Its the 18/11/2011. My mom just gave birth to a baby boy. Another half brother to be exact. Many of you have know that I already have 2 half sisters and they're annoying but I love the younger one because she grew up with me. I'm happy about getting a baby brother but also at the same time FUCKED UP! You know, its a very big thing for a Chinese to get a baby boy. Now, he's gonna get all the attention, my baby brother. As much as I hate my dad, I still don't want this to happen. I've tried to repair our fractured relationship, between my dad & I but it failed. It keeps getting worse actually. The things he does makes me hates him even more. Now that my half brother is born, there goes my life. I'm not saying that no one is gonna care for me anymore. I know many of you would say, he's a newborn baby, of course the adults will give him all the attention. That's not what I meant. What I meant was, my dad would definitely spend all of his time with my brother and would definitely forget about me. As you can see, I'm 17 already. He'd probably be thinking that I don't need anymore care cause I'm old enough to take care of myself.

I don't blame my brother for any of this. In fact, I'm not even blaming on anyone. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. TOO MUCH! SPM's coming to an end. What if I don't score? Will I disappoint them? I have a feeling that my younger half sister would somehow be neglected. She's only 2 and she's extremely naughty sometimes,  THANKS TO MY DAD. He taught her things that she's not suppose to learn. For example, scolding her mom. WTF RIGHT?! Total shit hole! My dad had beaten her up before by caning her and also throwing stuffs at her. There's once where my mom quickly brought my sister in the room to hide from my dad, but he bang and broke the door. I really felt like breaking his FUCKING head with a walking stick that I have at home. But there are always consequences for everything we do. I might even end up in jail. I did nothing,

Fortunately, I have a bunch of friends who are always there for me. I really love you guys. You know who you are. Not to forget that I always have my very own mom that loves me more than she loves herself. And also God, the one and only faithful Father that I'll love forever and I'm proud to have a heavenly Father like Him.

I have to baby sit now as my stepmother has to rest and take care of the newborn baby. My 2 year-old sister is now sleeping soundly on my bed because she doesn't wanna sleep in her room. My parents ain't home, that's why. She loves me too. So, yeah. That's about it.

kthxbai.

♫ Dedicated to Verinia, Tan May Li & Fan Jia Xuan ♪

Hey guys, IM REALLY SORRY FOR NOT COMING TO SCHOOL TODAY! SORRY FOR DITCHING AND BEING SO IRRESPONSIBLE! Its my fault. Sorry la. Don't be mad kay. :)

THESE ARE FOR YOU, TAN MAY LI! ;)

THESE ARE FOR YOU, FANNY! ;)

AND FOR YOU, VERINIA! ;)

If I'm going to skip school again, I'll make sure to text you guys beforehand. :)

kthxbai :)

♫ Seminar at Segi University 07-08-10 ♪

It was yesterday. Yes.  Yesterday. I was suppose to blog about this yesterday but I was too tired. I woke up at 5.30am yesterday to get ready for the seminar. Its FREE by the way. Went to Siang Er's house at 6.30am. Had breakfast at her house. Then left at 7am. One of her primary friend came too, Royston. We went and fetch Mee Yee after that. I know where you stay now! MUAHAHAHA! Reached SEGI University at 8am I think. I forgot. We were like lost sheep. We were wandering around and searching for the hall. We walked pass this statue next to the information counter. I talked to the statue. But no response, how impolite. LOL. After some time wandering around, we finally managed to find the hall. Many people were lining up to get their FREE T-shirt, pen and book. The T-shirt is in green btw. Everyone has to wear it during the seminar. Its kinda like a motivation thing to get everyone hyped up. So we got our FREE stuffs and went to change after that. Siang Er spotted a CUTE GUY who has a sexy body. She was so crazy. She kept looking at him BEFORE, DURING and AFTER the seminar. CREEEEEPY MUCH. Oh well, the seminar started at 9 with some speeches from the Chairman of this and that. After that was a 'Study Smart Workshop' by a very professional speaker, CEO of  'Perfection Training Academy', Mr Christopher Wong.

This is the speaker, Mr Christopher Wong

Perfection 

(The Training Academy)

His workshop is fun and not boring at all. He kept opening his leg as if it was a sex position or something. HAHA! Then there's this part where he talks about the upper and the lower part of the brain. He said the upper part is known as the 'Powerful & Hardworking Brain' whereas the lower part is know as the 'Lazy Brain' and our brain is often being controlled by the lower part which makes us lazy most of the time. Then he asked a few person to go on stage and asked them if they prefer the upper or lower part of the brain.

Mr Christopher : Do you prefer the upper part or lower part?

Confused Student : The upper?

Mr Christopher : YESS! The upper of course *rubbing around his chest*

Everyone in the hall laughed terribly. His a funny man. Then he told everyone, "Make sure your lower part is not strong, so it doesnt control you and your upper part MUST ALWAYS be strong!". EPICC! His workshop ended at somewhere around 10am. Then we sang the National Anthem & Tanggal 31 with the Guest of Honour, Chairman of Ti-Ratana and the Religious Leaders. The Religious Leaders (Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu & Sikh) asked everyone to stand up and each of them took their turns and prayed for us. Kinda awkward though. Math seminar was next and it was fun. Blah blah blah. YAY! Finally, BREAK TIME! Mee Yee brought fried rice & fruits made by her dad. How lucky. But food was provided though. Fried rice and chicken. Its kinda sucky. I dont like it. So I finished up Mee Yee's fried rice. We went and walked around the campus after that. It was awesome!

The Green Parade

We continued the seminar with BM. He's a funny man who loves insulting the girls. There's this part where he mentioned about kiss. He said :

"We are Asians. We kiss like this MUAH *pecked on his palm*. Unlike the Westerners, they VACUUM!"

That was one of the funniest shit I've ever heard. Moving on was English seminar. OMG! She's hot! YES! She! Finally. But her seminar was kinda boring cause she's very serious. SCHEEWIOUSCHLY! We sat there for more than 5 hours and our ass were damn painful. We kept complaining every 2 minutes. 

Me : My ass pain la.

Siang Er : Mine too. 

*2 minutes later*

Siang Er : My ass pain la.

Me : Mine too.

This went on for quite some time. Sejarah was the last slot. I thought it would be fun but the speaker was just telling us which chapter to focus on for SPM. Everyone was copying down what he was saying. But Siang Er, Mee Yee and I were in our own world. We drew stuffs on our book, daydreaming and even drawing on our own hands. 

Siang Er's book

My Book

The seminar finally ended. We walked out of the hall and walked around the campus again to find our exit. Siang Er went on talking about the CUTE GUY she saw, AGAIN! 

Siang Er : I missed my chance!

Me : Ugh.

Siang Er : I should have said HI!

Me : Ugh.

Siang Er : BRAAA!

Me : Ugh.

Siang Er : I wanna say HI to him now.

Me : Ugh *spotted a fountain* HEY! LOOK! GOT NAKED PEOPLE OVER THERE!

Umm. That was just statues on the fountain. There's no naked people. Seriously. 

Half naked ;)

We walked out the campus and went to 7-11 after that. We grabbed some snacks and waited for Siang Er's dad. Siang Er talked about that guy again. GAH! Her dad finally came. We went to mamak for food. Ate there and Siang Er's dad sent Mee Yee and Royston home. I went back to Siang Er's house. She showed me her nail polish painting. It was awesome. She cleaned up her room after that while I was using her laptop to go online. 

Kakak Siang Er menyapu lantai (looks like a maid, eh?)

I wrote this using her account ♥

Went home at 7.30pm after that and skipped school with Siang Er today. 

kthxbai :)

♫ Catching Up ♪

How'z life dudeeee? :) Catching up with my life. Sometimes I wonder, why are adults so sensitive about what we post in Facebook, Twitter and other social networks. WHY?! The should give us the freedom to do so. The reason why most of us post these stuff on Facebook is because none of them cared about our feelings. They might say they do verbally but not mentally and physically. They do not show it. I do not feel it either. Most if us rant about it in Facebook and give no shit about what other will say. We just want to express our feelings through words as we cant scream or blast music as loud as we want in our room.

Don't we all feel the same. Just like the other day. My teenage aunt, Mabel. She posted this as her status in Facebook :

"Right now, I'm not related to you FOREVER. All i can say is, ever since that day you started comparing me and everyone else, I never did put you in my eyes. You're nothing to me. FUCK YOU! I seriously hate you! Don't you ever think that I'll respect you. Cause I won't! You wanna know who am I talking about? Yes, my fucking aunt on my father's side. I bet you guys know who. I don't mind you guys telling her, cause she's nothing worth for me to admire! You ruin my life. Fuck off. :)"

Yeap. You've guessed it. It turned into a very big problem. The adults saw this status and they informed one another. Now, this teenage aunt of mine, has a bad reputation just because of this status. But what the adults dont see is what Mabel sees. They never put themselves in Mabel's shoe and see it from her point of view. I understand her. Seriously. Every teenagers want only ONE thing in their life. 

"Parents to care not too much and not too less"

We understand that parents want to educate us properly so that we won't involve ourselves in gangsterism, vandalism, drugs and whatsoever. We know. We're humans and we're not perfect. We know that too. Therefore, adults are not right all the time. We have our own point of view and they have theirs. Cant we just sit down and talk about what's on your mind and what's on mine? Must you adults always yell at us? Especially when we're voicing out. Adults will think that we're fighting back. Which leads us to isolation. We go into our room, blast music through ear/headphones and cry. Personally, I want to have a 'Heart to Heart' talk with my Dad too. As many of you know that, I dont have a good relationship with my dad. I often complain about him and how much I dislike him. But deep inside my heart, it hurts me to say those. I LOVE HIM! He just never seems to understand me. And I myself doesnt understand him as well. I just wanted him to care more about me, which he never. Maybe he did or tried, but I just dont see and feel it. Oh well, life is always like that. I cant do anything about it except praying about it and JUST MOVE ON!

Moving on. :) My school is going to have a Graduation Concert for the Form 5s on the 2nd November 2011. I want to perform so badly. I want to do a dance cover :) Made up my mind. I chose 2NE1's I Am The Best and MBLAQ's Mona Lisa. I might be dancing only cause there isnt enough time. Tan and Fanny are dancing with me too. Verinia is suppose to tag along but she has no transport for practice. I shall find one for you, BITCH! :P

2NE1 - I Am The Best

MBLAQ - Mona Lisa

Im doing the choreography. Im tired and bored of it already. :/ GAH! Maybe its because Im doing it alone. I am supposed to go to Tan's house and practice together today but I dont have transport. Oh well. This is Plan A. If the dance doesnt go well, I'll just sing with Siang Er. We planned to sing Bruno Mars' Marry Me and Colbie Caillat's I Do. I just wanna perform so badly. :) Owh, I've been asking Verinia to listen to I Am The Best by 2NE1. But she refused. So I kept singing NAEGA CHAE CHALAGA in school to annoy her. She was annoyed alright. And finally, she watched the video yesterday and she's A-DICK-TED! Now the word NAEGA CHAE CHALAGA is stuck in her head and she kept saying it. HAHAHAHA! Headshot, BITCH! :P

"MINDFUCKED"

I am brainwashing you!

kthxbai :)

♫ Tan May Li ♪

My senget best friend. :)

♫ I Love Blogging ♪

School was awesome. Went to school later than usual cause was scared that Daniel and the gang will smash cake on me AGAIN. Anyways, ITS HIS BIRTHDAY TODAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL! MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE! :D Serene bought him a cake. We all shared and paid her back. When I got school, they had already blow out the candles. So I went to Daniel and wished him. Serene handed me a slice of the cake. I felt awkward. Ate the cake and suddenly BOOM! Mr Chew's in the canteen. We were like WTF SHOULD WE DO? He didnt come to our place in the end. Oh well. Thank God.

Had some taklimat about local matriculation after that. BORING! After it was over, I saw Verinia reading a "Transformers : Dark Of The Moon" book. I yelled at her! AHHHH! This was our convo.

Verinia : Do you believe in Transformers?
Me : YEAH! *does the robotic sound*
Verinia : ME TOO! I LOVE YOU! Let's go and watch the moon together one day and wait for the robots to come!
Me : YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!

*In class*
Me : What's the name of the language that the robots use in Transformers?
Verinia : Cybertronian.
Me : YEAH! THAT'S IT!
Verinia : *burst out laughing* I was just simply saying la. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me : Fuck you!

Then back in class, Verinia said she wants to pee and wished to have a dick instead of a vagina. LOL! I asked why? She said, "SO THAT I DONT HAVE TO WASH IT EVERY TIME AFTER I PEE!" She started explaining and drawing vagina, shit and pee hole. Then I asked her if she wants to dance on graduation day. She asked me who's in? I said me, you, tan and fanny. She burst out laughing like a maniac. "FANNY?! HAHAHAHHAHA! CAN HE DANCE?!" WTF LOL! Tan then called Fanny over to show some dance moves.

Verinia : Fanny, DANCE!
Fanny : How? You want me to shake YOUR ass? (He wanted to say MY ass)
*Me, Verinia and Tan burst out laughing like shit!*

Got Physics after that. :O Homework and Peka. :/ Not gonna do homework but am going to do Peka. Have to pass it up tomorrow some more. Do tonight la. Went tuition after that. I only have RM10 and Verinia has no money. But we still went to McDonalds anyways. We ordered a Chocolate Sundae, Vanilla Milkshake and a Regular Fries. It costs RM10.30! Verinia made the order and she was like SHIT! DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE MONEY?! Thank God I still have RM1. We ate there like miserable FUCKS! I kept complaining that we look like people with no money who lives on the streets. Im broke now. :/ Tuition at 2:30pm. Add Maths. Verinia was so scared of her SPM all of a sudden and plans to pass Add Maths. Then we want to start a study group and start to study. I hope it works la. Gotta go shower now.

kthxbai :)

♫ Another Day ♪

I slept with my headphones on yesterday. This is because my cousin brother will make a lot of noise and I won't be able to sleep. With my headphones on, its different.

Let's keep moving. i woke up at 9:30am and was expecting my mom to ask me to go shower and get ready for church. IM SO LA-ZEEEEEE! But she didnt. In fact, we all skipped church service today. YAY! I get to stay home. I went out to eat in a chinese restaurant with my mom and sister. I went back home after that. I slept of course. Was so tired. Then came my uncle and his girlfriend for mahjong. My aunt and grandma came a while after that too. Unfortunately, my cousins didnt come! Hate chu! Just in case you dont know who they are. Lemme introduce them to you. They are Ya Ting and Si Mun. They're both younger than me. Go check out their Facebook if you wanna know them. 

That's me on the left and Ya Ting on the right. 

That's Si Mun on the left and Ya Ting again on the right.

Where am I? Hmm. Owh yeah. They didnt come over as they promised. :/ GAH! BORED! :O Nothing much happened today and there's school tomorrow. :/ AGAIN! It's also Daniel's birthday tomorrow. :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY BOY! 

kthxbai :)

♫ I Can Blog Using My Phone Now ♪

Cool! I didnt know I can use this lame phone of mine to blog. Oh well. Now I know. I can use my phone! Awesome! :)

♫ Testing 1 2 3 ♪

Its a test post using my phone. :)

♫ Awesome-ness ♪

Isnt it awesome? My blog, I'm talking about actually. Love the layout and everything. Except its not much of 2NE1 but Beast. :/ Couldnt find a nice layout for 2NE1. GAH! Let's talk about life now.

My life sucks today. My aunt and her son (my 4-year-old cousin brother) came over to my house and stay. :/ they're both sleeping in my room. Another GAH! Which also means, NO MORE PRIVACY! :O WHY LA?! WHY?! Im kinda depressed. But who cares la. They're only here for 1 or two weeks. I spent my whole day google-ing and searching for my blog layout. And I found this. Verinia helped me with this. She was calling me a fag for not blogging and stuff. She taught me about blogger cause blogger updated and Im outdated? I havent taken my dinner and am gonna take it after I finish this post. 

OWH! I was also playing with my sister in the evening cause I was bored. I dont do that all the time. I only do it when Im extremely bored. I WANNA WATCH TRANSFORMERS SO BADLY! I dont mind watching it ALONE actually. :P Here's the video of my sister doing funny faces! CUTE ! :D

Enjoy. I swear you'll never regret after watching it. Cutest thing ever. :)

kthxbai :)

♫ Im In Love♪

2NE1's new song, Ugly is just simply awesome! I love it. The beat is perfect! BTW, I love CL. And everytime I eat corn, it reminds me of Park Bom. WHY? Its because I watched 2NE1 TV. Park Bom sneaked into the kitchen to find for food in the middle of the night and she found corn. Then she went on the computer while eating corn. There was a camera next to the computer and she was caught eating corn in the middle of the night by her gym instructor. She was late to her gym the next day. Blah blah blah. And to cut the long story short, her gym instructor punished her. Here's the video, not the full one though. I dont know which one is. Enjoy cute Bommie eating corn :)

Here is 2NE1's Ugly (WATCH IT!)

Okay. That's all for now. BAI!

♫ My Blog Is Back Again ♪

Oh yeah! My blog is back again. Its a new one though. I used up HOURS just to fix the widgets. :/ but its worth it. So im happy. :) do you like the new layout? Oh well, I think this should be all. I hope I'll continue blogging and won't give up. This is just a test post btw. I wanna see how it looks like! :D